Mommy Time (i.e. regaining my sanity)

You know you are a mom when going to work becomes a break.  I work from home most of the week- I go into work once a week at the moment and in another month it will be twice a week.  Working from home is great because my day is flexible, I don’t miss time with Max and I don’t spend two hours in the car commuting.  It is exhausting however, because parenting a very demanding four month old who doesn’t believe in napping more than 40 minutes at a time is a full time job in itself, but then to add actual work tasks on top of it and you have an exhausted mommy.  There are days that M. arrives home to find Max and I both crying in the bedroom as I lose my mind trying to get him to sleep for the 400th time that day.  What helps a LOT:

1. When M gets home he takes over a couple shifts of soothing Max to sleep (since he never sleeps very long this is an ongoing consistent project)

2. Mommy gets mommy time. Yesterday I went to our local YMCA, worked out, then grabbed a sandwich at my favorite place and sat in a coffee shop for two hours catching up on work (necessary since last week both my mom was visiting and my work laptop was getting repaired so I got behind on some things).  Having a few hours to myself makes me excited to see my kid and have much more patience than non-stop no breaks parenting.

3. Eating before bedtime.  It doesn’t have to be dinner, but if I go into the most challenging sleep time of the day starving I have zero patience for the sleep resistance that follows.

I have started trying to shift my attitude about crying.  While I am still not ready to completely do cry it out, I accept that he might need to cry a bit to learn to self-soothe.  It is less frustrating if I accept he is trying to learn something new (at the moment, to sleep with one arm unswaddled, to sleep in his crib sometimes, and to go to sleep without me actively trying to pat and shush him until he is nearly asleep.)  Eventually this might lead to some crying it out once we are rid of the swaddle. I want to wait until he is six months for that first.

After I got some work done we went for a walk and in the park I discovered that tummy time is less traumatic in grass, which is apparently fascinating:

Tags: babies, sleep, work

Teeth and dreams

It occurs to me that Max might be teething.  It is a little early but not outside the realm of possibility.

Argument for:

He drools massive amounts all day long

He wants to put everything in his mouth– your arm goes by and he clamps down on it.

Fussy fussy fussy

Argument against:

I see no inflammation of his gums

He isn’t quite four months old yet (will be tomorrow) and the drool and stuff has been going on for a couple weeks

Other things I don’t know what to do with:

He is very gassy at night which wakes him (and me) up– something is hurting him, maybe the gas, maybe the teeth?

What is causing the gas? All the drool being swallowed? Something I am eating?

He is very easily distracted from nursing during the day.  He twists and writhes around or pops off every thirty seconds because he has something important to tell me and chatters on and on. It would be amusing except then he doesn’t eat enough during the day and eats even more often at night.

He has figured out he can make loud shrieking sounds and practices often, much to the detriment of my ear drums and my nerves.

This morning I had a confusing dream that started out as basically a People Magazine from 1995 and included Jennifer Anniston, Brad Pitt, and Justin Timberlake.  At some point when things were getting, ahem, heated with Justin I went to check on the baby and his head was cracked open like a coconut (he wasn’t dead but I am pretty sure having your head split is a bad thing).  I tried to scream for Justin to call 911 but nothing came out.  Then I woke up and was very relieved to see my intact sweet baby asleep right next to me.  Perhaps my subconscious is reminding me that although he is frustrating sometimes I adore him dearly. (Not sure what my subconscious is insinuating re: Justin Timberlake though!) The scary part of the dream is still haunting my waking hours.

As for the teeth, Max’s 4 month check up is on Friday (which means dreaded vaccine day )  and perhaps his ped will have some thoughts on this.

Tags: babies, dreams, sleep, teething

Oh Sleep, I miss you

We have reached nearly four months old and what teeny amount of regular sleep we were getting has gone out the window. Apparently this is common. Do a Google search for “four month old wakes up every hour” and you get lots of desperate parents seeking solutions but no solutions. Max is waking up every hour to hour and a half all night long.  He used to wake up every two or three hours, eat and go back to sleep with minimal drama. Now he wakes up screaming and it takes a lot of effort to get him back to sleep. He also is very distracted and disintetested in eating during the day so then at night he is starving. Naps are no better. I try to put him down as soon as he looks sleepy (generally there is lots of eye rubbing). But he won’t sleep for more than about 45 minutes so he is constantly sleepy and I feel like a slave to his sleep. Sometimes in the afternoon I can extend his naps by putting his pacifier back in  but he will wake up every ten minutes so it is very labor intensive. My mom is here visiting for a few days which is awesome except that just adds another person to the extreme sleep deprivation club. Oh and today a friend with a five month old told me her daughter sleeps from 8-6 with one feeding at 11. Seriously!? My kid is possibly the worst sleeper in the world. Or at least it feels like it at 2am. I know he is going through a lot of development right now (I cannot recommend enough this book, which explains developmental milestones and their side effects very extensively) but I swear all of that is on top of a kid that has a really hard time with sleep. And very very tired parents. Sorry such a rambly post– sooooo tired.

Tags: babies, sleep

Happy Mother’s Day

On my first Mother’s Day, I got kind of what I wanted, though a somewhat abbreviated version.  All I wanted was for the three of us to spend the day together (and also for someone besides me to do the dishes, which my awesome husband did accomplish). It probably would have been the perfect day, but was dampened by two movers who did not show up.

You see, our new house, which we are purchasing from M’s grandmother, has a lot of her things and his aunts things in it.  A LOT OF THINGS.  Those things are getting moved out this week, which is awesome.  However, two of the Craigslist hired movers did not show up yesterday (I don’t really blame them—sunniest, warmest day we have had since August—do you want to spend it moving dusty boxes?) But since the stuff needs to get moved, and the truck was in the driveway and only M’s dad and my brother here to help, M had to spend the entire first half of the day helping move stuff instead of hanging out with Max and me, which I know he would have rather been doing.  My dear, thoughtful father-in-law brought me flowers but my son gave me the best gift of all: for one of his naps, he went to sleep IN HIS CRIB with NO CRYING.  Just drifted off peacefully while I sang to him.  That has never happened before (or, to be honest, since) but it was a beautiful, hope inspiring moment.  (Of course, at bedtime I spent nearly an hour trying to get him to go to sleep there and he kept waking himself up by rolling onto his face and I was in tears with frustration– but that earlier nap moment was BEAUTIFUL).

In the afternoon after M tried unsuccessfully to fix my laptop which is being stupid (crashes with angry blue screen and restarts all the time- tried to put in magical rescue start up disc but it crashes while trying to be fixed.  Stupid computer)- we three went for a walk to the beach. 

First of all, there was this

and this:

And then, on the way back Max got fussy and insisted on being carried the whole way like this:

Babies are ridiculous. 

 

 

Tags: babies, moving, sleep

Sleep Training Part 2: Moving Maladies

I have been off blog for quite awhile and have so much I want to say! Between moving with no internet access for a week, my laptop that keeps crashing and a baby who is protesting the whole upheaval by refusing to sleep at night, well my friends, it’s been busy.
For now let’s just address the sleep-tastrophe that moving has been. Before we moved Mackage was going to bed between 7-8 without a whole lot of fuss—occasionally even in the bassinet but always would go to sleep in the bed at least. It took time to get him settled, generally nursing and rocking him to sleep, but usually by 8 or so he was asleep for a couple of hours at least without a lot of drama. Since we moved bedtime has become an exhausting war zone. As soon as you put him down on the bed he starts screaming and fighting going to sleep. Pick him up, he’s fine. Put him down, he’s a wreck. Sometimes I can get him to sleep for a few minutes and then he wakes up angry again. Over and over until he finally falls asleep exhausted between 9:30 and 11. It’s the same bed, same routine, same mommy but the fact that the room/house/vibe is different has rocked his world in a way did not imagine for a 3.5 month old. On top of all of this he is getting really excellent at rolling which scares me because he still sleeps swaddled and in my bed. Last night I thought, well if he’s going to scream and cry he can do it in his own bed because he needs to learn to sleep there so I put him down unswaddled in the crib. We had an entertaining hour where he rolled and rolled around the crib, talking to himself, kicking the sides (I need a breathable bumper stat—he’s going to get his foot caught), and then the crying started. Long story short he did sleep unswaddled but only right up next to me as kind of a human swaddle. He has yet to sleep more than ten minutes in his crib.

 

Incidentally, we also have a new player in the sleep game, named paci—that’s right, the last resort, let’s try one more pacifier before we give up completely was the one. It’s expensive and not sold locally so naturally he loves it.

Unfortunately he also sucks (ha) at keeping it in his mouth. At first I thought the paci was a miracle token of love from Jesus himself; you put that thing in his mouth and the screaming stops and the eyes close. Hallelujah! But wait just a second because the second that thing falls out of his mouth, and be certain it will, he will be awake in a panic rooting around for it. Once that happens a few times and he gets a bit of a cat nap in, then we discover that staying awake and sucking on the pacifier while admiring the closet light (which is on so I can see if he’s sleeping or not) is much more fun than actually sleeping. After an hour of this paci dance the other night I was in tears and M took over. We eventually had to take paci away and go back to listening to the scream fest. But paci is a manipulative bitch because occasionally, he will fall asleep with her in his mouth and stay that way. And it is beautiful. So then I think, oh this thing works now. Until we are back to the mommy-stay-here and-keep-putting-this-back-in-my-mouth-forever-and-ever game. Sometimes I put it in his mouth even though I know it isn’t going to work just to give my ears a break.

I am assured by my friends with older children that we will grow out of this phase of doom. I am comforted by the fact that some of our stupid 40 minute naps have extended to an hour—perhaps there is hope on the horizon for us yet.

Tags: babies, moving, sleep

Still around sort of…

We do not yet have internet at our new house yet and my limited data plan on my phone has to be reserved for my Facebook addiction. More soon….

On the Move

I am SO TIRED. Actually all three of us are exhausted and I’m willing to bet M most of all. Because this weekend, we moved houses. With a three month old. And because of said three month old, M packed, moved, and cleaned 98% of all of our belongings from our old house while I wrangled the baby and tried as best I could to help where I could, but it wasn’t a lot. I will be the one to put most of it away at the new place, but that can be done over several weeks. M packed and moved our whole house in four days virtually alone, with my brother helping briefly with the really heavy stuff. Max hasn’t been sleeping well, even for him, likely due to all the changes in his routine and general uproar in the household, which means NO ONE is sleeping well. I feel like a zombie today and I made a special trip to the store to buy ear plugs because there is SO MUCH SCREAMING at bedtime I seriously am going deaf.
We have been planning to move from the suburbs North of Seattle into the City for about a year. We almost bought a house last summer but changed our minds as the amount of work it needed and the cost of it for us to even sort of be able to live there was just too much given that we were about to have a baby. We instead have had the opportunity recently to purchase M’s Grandma’s house, as she is now living with M’s parents. It is in exactly the neighborhood we want to be in, and was built by M’s grandpa in the 60s so it has some history and it is has a lot of character. It also needs a LOT of work, but not so much we can’t live in it now. We have been working out the details for a few months, as it was a whole family decision and M’s Aunt is storing some things there that will eventually need to be moved. Last weekend we got all that sorted and four days later we were packing our house and MOVING.
We have lived in Suburbia for 7 years. When we bought our house it was because M was working 2 hours North of the city and I was working downtown, so it was a good compromise half way between. I never wanted to live so far from the heart of Seattle—all my friends lived in town, and even though without traffic most of them can get to my house in less than half an hour, anything outside of the county line is FAR away as far as any of them is concerned. (Plus with traffic it turns into an hour).
I wrote several long paragraphs about why we were moving and bored myself, so here’s the down and dirty:
Suburbs house
Pros:
- Big yard
- We are finished remodeling it
- Close to M’s parents

Cons:
- We have outgrown it
- 90 minutes+ each way to my job and an hour to M’s
- No more remodeling projects left (M loves a project)
- Not close to friends
- Not a walkable neighborhood (we usually drive somewhere to take a walk)

City House:
Pros:
- Can walk to beaches, parks, stores in minutes
- Close to good friends with kids
- Cuts my commute down by an hour and M’s down to 15 minutes
- Has a lot of history and character
- Big, open floor plan
- Lots of projects and potential

Cons:
- Almost no yard (also a plus as big yard = a lot of work)
- Endless expensive projects
- Farther from M’s parents
I thought I would be sad leaving our Suburbs house—we put a lot of time, effort and love into it, having remodeled just about every inch of it over the past seven years. It was our first house and we have good memories there. But any emotion I have outside of being exhausted is channeled into being super excited about our new house and new adventure in the city! I am looking forward to getting settled and organized soon and then walking miles and miles around my new neighborhood with Max. Right now I can’t find anything which makes things like diaper changes an adventure….

Tags: babies, moving, sleep